BREATHE
by albfic
Summary: Ryan's childhood asthma comes back...
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1- SHORT OF BREATH

Soccer practice was going well so far for Ryan. Now that he and Luke had worked out their differences soccer was one of his favorite parts of the day. He loved to run as it was one of the few moments in life when he could get the thoughts in his head to shut up for a little while. It also gave him a sense of control- he was in charge of changing speed and direction moving the ball where he wanted it to go. The rest of his life may be in chaos half the time but on the soccer field Ryan was in his element.

The only downside to practice today was the weather. It was horribly humid and not a bit of breeze in sight. The kind of weather one of his mom's short term boyfriends from Louisiana used to complain about. It was making him and the other boys weary and it seemed in general no one was playing quite as well as normal. In fact Ryan was finding it a bit harder than normal to catch his breath and for once he was actually grateful when a whistle from his coach signaled the end of practice.

"Alright gentlemen bring it in. It seems like that's the most I can get out of you'll today. Good job hit the showers and remember practice again tomorrow and the game on Saturday."

Soon after the dismissal the gang headed towards the locker room. Ryan stayed put for a moment still trying to slow his breathing down- finding it slightly disconcerting that he was having such a hard time. When he was younger he had some trouble with asthma but that had been ages ago in another lifetime- one filled with smoke and dirty living conditions. Ryan hadn't smoked in months now thanks to Kristen's hard stance against it. He was grateful for her stance too- smoking was just one more expensive habit and tie to his past that he was really better of leaving behind anyway.

"You coming man?" A voice to his left asked. Looking up Ryan noticed Luke was waiting on him.

"Yeah... Just catching my breath." Ryan managed to wheeze out between a few dry coughs.

"Really cause you look like a wheezing grandpa right now." Luke commented with sarcasm and perhaps a hint of concern.

"Funny." Ryan snapped back taking a step towards Luke. Unknowingly his right hand came up to rub his chest as he walked towards him.

"All kidding aside Ryan you look a little rough what's up?"

"Nothing just the weather- maybe I pushed it a bit too hard."

"Yeah maybe you were kicking the ball something fierce today- what did Marissa do this time?"

"What makes you think it's Marissa?" Ryan asked back with a glare his voice sounding a bit stronger now and his breathing a bit slower.

"Hey don't shoot your killer look this way- we're teenagers nine times out of ten it's a girl problem."

"Yeah I guess" Ryan conceded "it's just she wants me to go to another party. You'd think she'd have figured out by now me and social gatherings don't mix."

"Yeah well good luck on convincing her of that this is the O.C. parties are our way of life."

"Strange customs you'll have I think I was better off in Chino where drinking and brawling were the social norms."

"Hah and miss out on all this drama- never."

Together the two boys headed into the showers laughing all the way. Ryan was glad he was no longer fighting with Luke- it was nice to have a friend who liked sports as much as him. Seth was a great brother but sporty he was not.

It didn't take long for the boys to shower and soon they were in Luke's car heading towards the Cohen's. When they arrived Ryan jumped out grabbing his book bag and waving thanks to Luke for the ride.

"Catch you tomorrow."

"Sounds good don't get your ears talked off by Cohen."

"Hey I resemble that remark." Seth said suddenly appearing at the front door.

"Yep- see you guys." And with that Luke sped out of the driveway.

"Have a good practice?" Seth asked.

"Yeah- hot but good."

"No kidding we must be having some record heat day or something- I'm hot just thinking about running and I didn't have to do it. By the way you feeling okay you look a little pale?"

"Yeah no big deal just tired."

"Cool well you have good timing dinners ready."

Ryan gave Seth a frightened look at that fearing what Kristen might have attempted.

"Hey don't look so scared its take out- Chinese. Dad intervened before the Kristen could attempt to produce something edible."

Soon the boys had made their way to the kitchen grabbed a take-out container and seated themselves at the table.

"Hello boys. How was practice Ryan?" Sandy inquired.

"Pretty good. Just drills for the game Saturday…" A sudden coughing fit stopped Ryan from continuing his explanation. When it didn't stop right away Kristen stood up and grabbed a glass of water handing it over to Ryan. He drank it quickly and cleared his throat. "Thanks… must have breathed in wrong or something."

"Or something..." Sandy replied watching Ryan closely. He vaguely remembered reading something about asthma in his file at one point.

"It's cool Sandy. I'm just tired its hot out today." Sandy nodded noticing Ryan had indeed caught his breath back but he figured he'd keep a close eye on him all the same. A quick glance at Kristen let him know she was on the same page.

"What no one's gonna ask me how my day was?" Seth suddenly chimed in. Good old Seth one could always count on him for a diversion.

"Of course Son and how was your fascinating day – any news on Summer?"

"As if…" Ryan said softly.

"Hey bro no doubting my progress. It's destiny she'll come around. I'm taking it slow."

"Seth, taking it slow implies actually doing something. I'm pretty sure dreaming up plans doesn't count." Sandy said with a grin.

"All right boys leave Seth alone I'm sure he'll make his move in his own time." Kristen spoke up.

"Yeah thanks mom for supporting me unlike these two." Seth said with a dramatic flair.

The rest of dinner passed in easy chatter and soon trash was thrown out and dishes put away. Ryan grabbed his book bag and headed towards the pool house intent on starting his homework. He'd gotten through about half of it when a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him. He coughed again briefly and once more rubbed his chest. Thinking another shower might help wake him up some and relax his lungs he headed towards the bathroom. Unfortunately the shower seemed to have the opposite effect this time and soon he found himself even more tired. Figuring he'd just finish his homework in the morning he set his alarm for an hour earlier and laid down.

Unfortunately despite his exhaustion sleep just didn't seem to come. Laying down seemed to irate his dry throat and tired lungs and he found himself coughing and tossing and turning. After a while he shrugged of his covers and moved to the love seat in the room hoping a change of position might ease the tightness in his chest. It seemed to work and by 11pm Ryan had drifted into sleep in the chair.

It was 2am when Ryan next awoke but this time it wasn't just tossing and turning. The feeling that he was suffocating caught him off guard and he struggled to sit up. He was wheezing heavily and it felt like a rock had been dropped on his chest. Ryan suddenly wished for the inhalers of his youth, but to no avail. He needed help. He stretched his hand out towards the lampstand where his cell was. Finding it he managed to flip it open and send a text to Seth. Now all he could do was wait.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2- Midnight Emergency

Thankfully Seth was a lite sleeper- or maybe it was more that his phone had an annoyingly loud ring tone. He knew right away it was Ryan after all Seth was the one who programmed it to play "Bad Boys" when his brother called. The ringtone was something Ryan rolled his eyes at though secretly Seth thought the song actually amused the too often solemn boy. Fumbling for a minute Seth finally found the phone and clicked on it to receive the message. When he read it he shot up out of bed immediately running to his parent's room. All the text said was _Need Help Can't Breath._

"Mom, Dad something's wrong with Ryan get up." Seth shouted urgently upon bursting into his parent's room.

The two adults were immediately awake at their sons' urging.

"What's wrong Seth?" Sandy questioned calmly ever the voice of reason even as he was pulling on his shoes and heading towards his son.

"I don't know he texted me saying he needed help and couldn't breathe."

"Kristen call 911 and ask for an ambulance tell them it's a possible asthma attack." That was all the urging Kristen needed and soon she had the phone in hand.

Seth and Sandy were moving hastily towards the Pool House.

"Asthma? Since when does Ryan have asthma?" Seth asked in confusion.

"Not since he was little but sometimes it can come back." Sandy replied.

Upon reaching the pool house Sandy immediately flicked on the lights his eyes quickly landing on Ryan's distraught form. The boy was pale and wheezing audibly and more frightening still was the faint blue tinge on his lips.

"My God…" Seth said seeing his brother and freezing.

Sandy didn't hesitate and quickly went to Ryan he pulled the kid up and sat behind him leaning the boy back against his chest so he could feel his own breath.

"Put your hands up above your head kid and try and breath with me slow deep breaths help is on the way."

Ryan struggled to comply and it was obvious he heard Sandy and wanted to do as he was told though his body seemed to be fighting him all the way.

"Seth stand outside and watch for the ambulance." Sandy said turning his attention to his other son in hopes of giving him something to do to ease his fear. Seth nodded glad to have something to do that took his eyes off the frightening scene inside.

It seemed like ages but was probably no more than 10 minutes when the sirens of an ambulance could be heard pulling up to the Cohen residence.

"Over here." Seth yelled seeing the EMT's. "Hurry he can't breathe and he's turning blue."

Those words seemed to kick the paramedics into high gear and soon they were setting their equipment beside Sandy and Ryan.

"Tell us what's going on."

"Well Ryan had soccer practice today he came home looking a little pale and coughing a bit but seemed to settle down fine after dinner. He was asleep when I checked on him at 11:30 and looked to be breathing normally. He apparently woke up a few minutes ago like this though. He has a history of asthma but hasn't had an attack since he was around 8. He doesn't take any medication."

"Alright well it definitely looks like you're having an attack now. My partner here has a nebulizer treatment let's try this. Can you hold it or do I need the mask?" The paramedic asked Ryan.

Ryan shakily held out his hand and soon had the mouthpiece in his mouth struggling to breathe.

"Good you keep trying to breathe that in while we get some vitals. I'm going to put this on your finger to get a pulse ox reading okay?"

Another nod from Ryan had the medic doing just what he said. A few beeps later and a frown on his face told Ryan and Sandy the numbers weren't good.

"Alright let's get your BP then we are going to place some monitors on your chest to watch your heart."

All of this was done quickly. Ryan was happy help had arrived and the nebulizer was helping some but he still felt frantic.

"Alright Ryan we are going to call your vitals in and hopefully get you some more medications and get you to the hospital for some relief. You are doing great just hang in there."

At that one of the medics stepped back out of the room his radio in hand presumably to radio into the hospital.

"Where will you take him?" Sandy questioned.

"Children's Memorial is closest."

"Alright I'll have my wife call our pediatrician, Dr. Peters, to meet us there."

The medic nodded his understanding and then suddenly the other medic was back. They want us to start and IV and go ahead and push an amp of epi."

Soon the meds were on board and the medics had switched the nebulizer out for an oxygen mask.

Next thing he knew Ryan was being loaded into an ambulance and Sandy was heading towards the front seat of the ambulance with Kristen and Seth saying they would follow in the car. Soon in a rush of lights and sirens they were off to Children's Memorial.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3- CHILDREN'S MEMORIAL

Upon arrival at Children's Memorial there was instant action as Ryan was removed from the ambulance. Sandy was frightened to see he was no longer conscious and was being assisted in breathing. A trauma team quickly surrounded him and listened in to the medics report.

"15 year old male, Ryan Atwood, history of asthma no known attacks in the past seven years. He first experienced shortness of breath after soccer practice today at around 4:30pm- some minor wheezing and coughing throughout the evening but it seemed to resolve quickly according to his family. Around 2am he woke up unable to catch his breath with audible wheezing. When his guardian joined him ten minutes later he noted the wheezing and the blue discoloration of his lips. He received a breathing treatment on scene and an amp of epi. Pulse ox is only 85 with full flow oxygen- breathing continues to be labored and we are hearing almost no breath sounds. Patient lost consciousness in route and we began bagging him."

A tall ER doctor took over.

"Alright let's intubate. Call up to pediatric ICU and get a bed." Looking over at Sandy he spoke again. "You'll need to stay out here while we help your son we'll let you know soon what's going on."

Sandy nodded hesitantly not wanting to comply and leave Ryan's side but also not wanting to get in the way of the medical team set at saving his life. He couldn't remember ever being this scared. Sure when Seth had hernia surgery it was frightening but he never though he might lose him and today he just didn't know. Ryan had only been with their family a short time but to Sandy it was like he had always been his son and he couldn't imagine life without him. He sent up a prayer to God that this would not be his last time seeing his son.

Meanwhile the medical team went about quickly inserting the breathing tube and taking blood work. An x-ray machine was wheeled in and out quickly and new medications mostly steroids where injected through the I.V. to help the ailing teen. The doctor seemed satisfied with the tube placement and the current meds and now it would just be a waiting game. With a nod of his head he moved out to the waiting room to update the family.

"Ryan Atwood's family?"

"That's us" Sandy said instantly walking towards the doctor Seth and Kristen fast on his heels.

"I'm Sandy Cohen, this is my wife Kristen and my son Seth we are his legal guardians."

The doctor nodded acknowledging the unique family situation.

"Well we have stabilized Ryan for the moment. We have the breathing tube in and are moving him to the ICU where he will be on a ventilator until his lungs begin functioning properly. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later. His initial blood work doesn't show any signs of infections which is good meaning we are unlikely to be complicated by secondary pneumonia. It is most likely just a severe attack brought on by exercise and the bad weather conditions. It happens sometimes. Hopefully he will respond well to the medications. It is just a waiting game right now though I am optimistic. He's young and overall pretty healthy which will all work in his favor. Once he's out of ICU we will discuss follow up and ways to avoid similar attacks in the future. I'll let you all see him briefly upstairs but then only one of you can stay with him at a time. Any questions?"

"No. Thank you for helping Ryan."

The doctor nodded and then looked at a nurse by the admitting station.

"Jacky will you lead the Cohen's up to ICU bed 4 so they can see Ryan."

"Of course Doctor Williams. Come right this way."

Soon the Cohen's found themselves outside a glass sliding door leading in to a hospital room. Ryan looked so pale and young lying on the bed. Seth gasped at the sight of his normally healthy foster brother. A hug from his mom encouraged him to walk in closer.

Sandy laid a hand on Ryan's forehead and whispered. "Keep breathing son. We love you and are with you. No letting something like asthma knock you down you've come too far."

"Yeah bro" Seth spoke up grasping one of Ryan's hands "I'm used to you now. I can't go back to fighting off the parental units alone you have to get better soon."

Kristen grabbed his other hand. "We are praying for you Ryan get better." She leaned over and softly kissed his forehead.

After a few minutes Seth and Kristen regretfully walked out of the room leaving Sandy to take the first watch of the night.

Grabbing a chair and pulling it beside Ryan's bed Sandy grabbed Ryan's hand and gave a gentle squeeze and then let his eyes watch the slow rising and falling of his son's chest. Hopefully soon he would be looking into Ryan's soulful blue eyes and all of this would just be a forgotten nightmare. Until then though he would keep guard and allow Ryan to feel his presence and love.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4- THE WAITING GAME

Only a few short hours later the rising sun cast a blanket of light upon Ryan's ICU room. The new light caused Sandy to wake up. He had fallen to sleep holding Ryan's hand. Upon waking his eyes quickly looked Ryan over. There didn't seem to be much change from last night. The machine beside the boy still steadily pushed air in and out of the teenager's chest. His color looked slightly better than the frightening blue gray of last night, but it was still way too pale for Sandy's liking. Ryan's eyes remained firmly closed and he was clearly in a state of unconsciousness.

It was during Sandy's appraisal of Ryan's condition that a doctor walked in.

"Hello, I am Doctor Jackson. I am the ICU doctor taking over for Doctor Williams- the one who saw Ryan in the ER."

"Good Morning."

"I'm just going to listen to him for a moment." Sandy nodded his acceptance at the doctor's statement and watched as the new doctor lifted his stethoscope to his ears and listened around Ryan's chest.

When the doctor had finished and stepped back looking at the monitors in the room, Sandy decided to ask some questions.

"Is he supposed to be this still? I mean Ryan is quiet for sure, but he is never really still. He's more like action coiled and ready to spring."

The doctor smiled at the image. He related to it well considering he had a teenage son of his own who was an athlete.

"Yes. It is to be expected at this point. We have him under light sedation right now so he won't become frightened and fight off the respirator that is giving his body time to rebuild strength and let the steroids kick in. We will start weaning him off the sedation later this afternoon and see how he responds. If he is strong enough to actively fight the machine then we will extubate and try him on an oxygen mask. I know it is frightening, but all things considered he is doing well. We will run some more blood work in a minute to double check that he has not picked up any secondary infections. I don't expect that he has considering we are not seeing any sign of fever. Just keep doing what you are doing. Be there for him. Hold his hand and comfort him. You might talk to him also considering many people report that they remembering being talked to even though they were unconscious."

"I'll do that. Thank you."

The doctor nodded and stepped out of the room to write up his observations. Not more than a minute later a technician walked in to take blood. Sandy decided to step out of the room for a minute while she did this. It wasn't that he was afraid of needles or anything like that; it was just that he hated to watch his kids get hurt even if it was something meant to help them get better.

One of the ICU nurses noticed him stepping out of the room and called out to him.

"Mr. Cohen? Let me show you the family room up here. There is fresh coffee and one of the other families even brought some bagels and donuts today." She called out in a friendly reassuring voice.

Hearing his name and an offer of sustenance, Sandy looked up to read the kind nurses name tag. It said Cindy.

"Thank you Cindy. Coffee is exactly what I need right now. It has been quite some time since I pulled an all-nighter despite raising two teenagers."

"Oh don't I know it. It isn't by chance I work the day-shift." She replied with a light laugh.

After getting his coffee and eating his bagel, Sandy stepped back into Ryan's room. He had a paper with him that he had found in the family room. Sitting, once more, on his chair by Ryan's side; he opened the paper to the sports section.

"Alright Ryan let's see who won last night's game…"

The next half hour continued in much the same way with Sandy quietly reading to the son of his heart. It was this loving sight that Kristen discovered when she arrived with Seth later that morning.

A gentle tap at the glass of the ICU door alerted Sandy to her presence and he gave a nod indicating he would be out in a minute.

"Hey bud I'm going to stop reading now. It looks like Kristen and Seth are here. I am going to update them and probably send Seth in to chat your ears off. If that won't make you want to get strong enough so they will let you wake up and leave then I don't know what will." With that parting comment Sandy folded up the paper and stepped out of the room towards the rest of his waiting family.

"Hey Kristen" Sandy said and then gave his wife a hug and a gentle kiss.

"Let's go to the family room so I can clue you and Seth in real quick."

Kristen nodded her acceptance.

After they had all sat down at one of the tables in the room Sandy started to explain.

"The doctor said he is hanging in there. They are waiting till this afternoon to start working him off the vent. So far he has not had any complications and that's good. His doctor said the best thing for us to do is to keep him company and talk to him."

"Hey, I can definitely do that. I brought some of my new comic strips so I'll just go in there now and let him know what's happening in the world of superheroes." Seth said excitedly. He was relieved to have something to do that might help his brother. He loved comic strips and Ryan usually only humored him for a few moments when he wanted to teach him about them. He had a captive audience now and it was on doctors' orders. With that in mind and an encouraging smile from his parents, he set off to just what he said.

After Seth had cleared the room, Kristen spoke up. "Is he really doing okay?"

"Yes- well as okay as he can be considering he isn't breathing on his own."

"How did we not see this Sandy? I feel like a horrible mother. Why didn't we have medication for him?" Kristen said nearly in tears.

"Hey now, don't cry" Sandy said hugging his wife. "We are doing the best we can. Ryan hasn't had medication in years. He just thought it was the weather and so did I. We aren't superheroes like Seth's comic books. We are going to make mistakes. All we can do is learn. We know now his asthma is still something to be aware of. The doctor will start him back on medications and we will know what to look for and avoid. It will be okay. He will be okay."

"Your right it's just I am so scared. We just found him and I know I wasn't all for it in the beginning, but that boy has worked his way into my heart and I don't want to lose him."

"We won't. I know I'm not usually very religious, but everything in me tells me God wouldn't give us a gift like this only to rip it away so soon. Keep praying like I know you do. I think it will all work out."

"Of course, I haven't stopped praying since we found him last night."

That being said the two parents held on to each other both thinking of Ryan. The waiting continued but at least they had each other.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5- WAKING UP

The doctor was true to his word and by early afternoon they started tapering down on the sedation. After a while Sandy, who had once again taken over the vigil, started noticing Ryan was getting more restless. It started with the twitching of his feet. The movement scared Sandy at first even though it was expected. Once he calmed a bit and realized Ryan was moving around some the fear turned to joy and then humor. It would be the boys kicking foot that moved first. Sandy vaguely wondered if Ryan was dreaming of playing a tough soccer game.

Around an hour later Sandy noticed twitching around Ryan's eyes and waited eagerly to see the ice blue eyes that held so much emotion. The opening of Ryan's eyes, however, turned out to be more dramatic than Sandy had anticipated. Instead of the calm blue eyes he saw terror. Clearly waking up on a ventilator was a frightening experience and what was worse was Ryan's hands were in soft restraints to prevent him from pulling out anything. The practice meant to protect and reassure the patient was having the opposite effect of terrifying him into thinking he was being held captive. Sandy noticing his distress immediately hit the call button and started trying to reassure Ryan. He grabbed one of his hands in his own and touched the boy's face turning the frightened eyes toward him.

"Calm down Ryan. I know you're scared, but you are going to be okay. The doctor will be here soon and maybe we can get some of these restraints off. You are in the hospital. You had a bad asthma attack and stopped breathing. They had to hook you up to this machine and that's what you feel in your throat. Its helping you, not hurting you, so try not to fight it."

Upon hearing Sandy's voice and seeing him Ryan started to try and do what he asked. He tried to calm down and not fight the vent, but it seemed almost impossible. Everything felt so foreign. His body felt sluggish and unresponsive and his chest felt like it was being crushed. The tube in his throat felt like he was being smothered. On one side he understood what Sandy was saying and was grateful to know what was going on, but on the other hand he hated hospitals. He had never had a good experience in them. They always meant either pain or death which was two of his least favorite things. All Ryan could grasp was he wanted out. As a result he was soon coughing and fighting the vent sending alarms off in every direction. The added noise did nothing to calm him down.

Suddenly a team of nurses and doctors was with him.

"Ryan, I am Doctor Jackson. You have to calm down. I know you want this out and I will help you get the tube out, but you have to listen. Stop fighting. If you keep fighting I'll have to sedate you again and then you will have to wait longer to get this tube out."

The firm no-nonsense voice of the doctor and the threat of the tube staying in longer was enough to cut through Ryan's panic and he struggled to comply. After a tense few minutes the alarms stopped sounding and Ryan stopped fighting. He was obviously still scared if the trembling of his body was any indication. Also his coughing while having slowed some still continued.

"Alright that's good. The fact that you are trying to cough and fight the vent is good. Here's what we are going to do. I am going to count to three and I want you to try and blow out as hard as you can while I pull the tube out. Blink twice if you understand."

Two blinks quickly followed the doctors' orders.

Soon they were doing just what the doctor had said and almost before he had time to realize it the tube was out. Ryan continued coughing long after the tube was pulled. His throat was sore and irritated from the invasive object. The doctor watched the monitors while he coughed closely observing his oxygen levels. They were still low at 90 but not nearly as frightening as the 80's reported by the ambulance. Soon an oxygen mask on full flow was placed over him. The nurse handed Sandy some ice chips and said he could offer them to Ryan every few minutes. It was too soon after sedation to try liquids.

"Alright Ryan. Now that you are awake and off the tube we can get rid of these restraints." Quick work soon had that task completed. Ryan immediately moved his hands and gently rubbed his wrists glad to be free of the oppressive instruments.

"Why don't I explain what is happening?" A nod from Ryan encouraged the doctor to continue.

"You had a very severe asthma attack. The attack was due to the weather conditions, extreme exercise, and a lack of controlled medications in your system and your body just couldn't handle everything at once. Had you come in sooner, when you first started wheezing, it might not have been so bad. Now, I'm not saying this is your fault. I know it was unexpected based on the lack of an attack in so long. Now that you know, though; you will have to monitor yourself better and any wheezing lasting longer than ten minutes needs to be addressed medically. That doesn't mean you will have to come to the hospital each time. I will be starting you on regular medications again and I want you to always have a rescue inhaler around to use. For the most part the inhaler should be sufficient and if it isn't that's when you'll make an appointment with your doctor for something stronger. We will also be starting you on a daily preventative medication called Advair which will help build up your lungs over time and hopefully cut down on your need for the rescue inhaler. Do you understand? "

Again Ryan nodded.

"Good any questions?"

"When can I leave?" Ryan managed to gasp out between breaths.

"Not for a while yet. Your oxygen level is still low. We will move you out of ICU though and to a regular room. Just keep resting and hopefully in a day or two you can go home. Okay."

"Yeah"

After that the doctor stepped out leaving just Ryan and Sandy.

"Well kid I'm glad to see you awake. We have been worried. You just missed Kristen and Seth though I suspect they will be back by dinner and thrilled to see you awake. Be prepared Seth will probably quiz you on his superhero comics. He read to you while you were unconscious and I am sure he will want to test and see if you remember anything."

A roll of his eyes indicated what Ryan thought of that. Truthfully though his heart swelled at that thought that these people cared so much for him and that they stayed with him even when he didn't know they were there."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it kid- that's what families do."

"Family." Ryan softly said the word to himself. In fact he probably didn't even realize he had said it out loud. He had never thought of family in such a way. Family just meant blood to him, but not the way Sandy used it. When Sandy said family it meant so much more. It meant love, safety, hope…

"Yes Ryan. Family. You are stuck with us now kid and we aren't ever letting you go. Not even asthma can scare off the Cohen's."

At that comment Ryan smiled. Slowly his eyes started drifting closed content in the thought that his family was watching over him.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6- A GLIMMER OF HOPE

When Ryan next opened his eyes it was clear that a changing of the guard had occurred because on his side was no longer Sandy, but a quiet Kristen reading a book. A second look revealed the book to be a Bible. This surprised Ryan some. He knew Kristen was a Christian, but the family never went to church or anything and he had not thought they even owned a Bible.

Kristen must have sensed his eyes on her because soon she was returning his graze with a loving smile.

"Oh Ryan, we were so worried. I am so glad to see your eyes again." She said even as she gave him a light hug mindful of the tubes and wires still attached to him. Wiping tears off her cheek as she sat back down, she suddenly changed her tone to that of a scolding mother and began shaking a finger at him. "Young man, don't you ever pull that nonsense of not breathing on me again."

Ryan's eyes grew frightened for a second wondering how in the world he could promise such a thing until suddenly he noticed her slight grin and realized she was teasing him. The scene, humorous as it was in retrospect, had startled him a little too much and caused him to increase his respirations which in turn caused pain in his chest and set some alarms off.

"Oh Ryan, I 'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Just breathe." Kristen quickly uttered realizing the error of her ways as she gently stroked his back to urge him into slowing his breathing.

Ryan closed his eyes in order to comply and focus on the task at hand. The sound of a door sliding alerted him to the fact that a nurse had noticed his distress and come in to check on him. He heard a whoosh of air from behind him signaling the turning of one of the valves on the wall and guessed she had just adjusted his oxygen flow. The heavier flow of air across his face confirmed his guess. The adjustment seemed to help though and soon Ryan reopened his eyes and gave a shaky thumb's up in Kristen's direction to assure her that he was okay.

"I'm sorry" Kristen repeated to the nurse. "I was teasing him and didn't consider it might startle him." She said her voice full of guilt.

"Oh sweetheart don't worry yourself one bit over it. You did nothing wrong a bit of laughter is medicine for the soul. This youngins just ready for his next breathing treatment so his lungs were a bit more tired. You're a right fine mom so don't go second guessing yourself."

Ryan smiled appreciatively at the nurse for her remarks. He couldn't have put it better. She was a grandmotherly African American lady probably from somewhere in the south if her accent was anything to go by. Her gentle nature radiated peace. She actually reminded him a bit of a foster mom he had stayed with once – one of the only good homes he recalled ever being in. One he had not wanted to leave. He hadn't had a choice though as the court for some unknown reason had decided his mom deserved yet another chance to regain her parental rights. Sure he loved his mom- she was his mom he would always love her, but that didn't mean he wanted to live with her.

"You with me son?" The gentle voice of the nurse interrupted Ryan's musings and he realized he had momentarily been lost in his own thoughts.

"Yeah, just remembering." He managed to croak out- his voice hoarse from lack of use and the lingering effect of the tube that had been down his throat.

"Ahh I know how that is getting caught up in a memory. Hopefully it was a good one."

Ryan nodded slowly and returned her gentle smile. It had been a good memory- one of the few from his childhood.

"Well, I'm glad. Now that you're back in the present though I was just telling your momma that it's time for your next breathing treatment. Might be a bit painful it's liable to make you cough but we want to keep those lungs of yours working now. They had their rest and now it's time to get back in the game."

Ryan nodded and weakly pushed himself up a little straighter in his bed, the kind hands of the nurse adjusting him as well. To anyone who knew him well they would say that his game face was on. Seems like the nurse's choice in sports analogies for a pep talk was taken to heart and Ryan was ready to get well.

"Were gonna use the mask this time instead of the tube you hold since I know your still pretty tired from everything you've been through and we want you to get the full effect of these meds, okay hun?"

Ryan nodded secretly relieved that he didn't have to try and hold anything up as the mere act of adjusting his position had left him feeling drained. Soon the nurse had measured the liquid meds into the mask and hooked it to the oxygen tube and switched out his old mask for the new medicated one. Ryan concentrated on simply breathing in and out as slowly and as deeply as he could. The room was quiet except for the occasional cough from Ryan and the whoosh of the medicated oxygen. Kristen's eyes were glued to Ryan. After Ryan found his rhythm he looked to Kristen and gestured weakly towards the Bible she had laid aside on the table.

"Oh this, it's just well… I felt that maybe since God answered our prayers and kept you with us I should give Him a little more time. I mean I know that's not how He works- it's not like He only does good things for us if we do them in return, but I guess all this made me realize maybe I should take Him a little more seriously." Kristen said nervously. Faith was never something they had really talked about with Ryan. Well at least not apart from the fact that they let him know they were a family of mixed beliefs. Kristen wasn't even sure if Ryan believed in anything.

Ryan suddenly pulled his mask back a bit to talk. Kristen went to stop him but he pushed her away. "Will you read some …" He paused momentarily to breathe in from the mask again before continuing "it will give me something else to focus on."

"Of course." Kristen replied jumping on the opportunity to do something productive.

"Well I was reading from the Psalms because they are like prayers and well honestly because they are easier for me to understand. They are sort of like poetry or music and a lot of them aren't that long." Kristen remarked with a grin that looked slightly guilty at the admission.

"Let's see I had just gotten to Psalm 121 it was my mom's favorite…"

_I lift my eyes up to the hills where does my help come from?_

_My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth…._

For the next few minutes Ryan let the soft voice and peaceful words of the psalms flow over him. He couldn't remember ever being read to before. It was a wonderful feeling. The words of the psalms were perfect too in that they spoke of hope and security and love things he had given up on until meeting the Cohen's. In honesty even with them he was often too scared to hope in them afraid that at the last minute they would be dashed away like always, but here in this solemn hospital room Ryan felt perhaps it was okay to hope. Perhaps there was someone watching out for him and maybe just maybe there always had been.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7 STEP-DOWN

The next time someone entered Ryan's room it was the doctor.

"Hello again Ryan. I'm Doctor Jackson the one who removed the tube earlier. I figured it might be good to reintroduce myself since sometimes patients are a bit confused when they first come off the vent."

Ryan nodded in return.

"I mentioned before we were planning on stepping you down to a regular room. Because your numbers are still a little low we aren't going to be doing that quite as quick."

"But…" Ryan started to interrupt.

Doctor Jackson raised his hand up immediately hushing the worried teen. "Hold up I didn't say we weren't moving you at all. Were just going to move you down to the progressive care unit or PCU as the staff say instead of a regular bed in general med. I want to still monitor you closely for one more night. The nice thing though is that PCU doesn't limit visitors like ICU does so more of your family and friends can drop in and say hi. We are probably still on schedule for a discharge in two days but I don't want to rush anything and have you end up right back in here okay?"

"Like I have a choice." Ryan muttered.

"Ryan," Kristen gently scolded, "he's only doing his job."

"Your right I'm sorry I just want to leave. Hospitals don't hold my favorite memories." Ryan replied with a modified tone.

"I understand. So with that said we will be moving you to PCU now and it should take about an hour. I suggest your mom here gets something to eat or take a walk because while they are transferring you there isn't much she can do. We are moving you to PCU bed 5."

"Alright, I'll go get a coffee from the Starbucks downstairs and be back in an hour then." Kristen said.

Ryan watched as she walked out and then shifted his eyes back to the doctor and the staff who entered his room to prepare him for transfer.

The doctor's prediction had been correct in the timing and an hour later Ryan was once more settled in another room. He was still attached to all sorts of monitors but there were more chairs in this room alluding to the fact that visitors were welcome. Ryan was only alone for a minute before the voices of the Cohen's filled the hallway. It seemed Kristen had taken to heart the visitor policy also and brought along reinforcements. Soon the glass door slid open to admit them.

"Yo bro. I see you got new digs."

"Please Seth drop the gangster talk you so don't pull it off." Sandy chided with a grin. Ryan rolled his eyes at their antics.

"Hate to tell you son but they don't look all that different from your last place." Sandy remarked.

"Tell me about it." Ryan responded in his typical dry tone.

"Oh stop all of you. It's not so bad at least we can all be together again." Kristen interjected.

"True so true, let's get this party started then." Seth said as he plopped himself down on one of the waiting chairs.

"And what party might that be son?" Sandy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No clue- entertainment was your job."

"How about cards? I think I have some in my purse." Kristen added.

"Yes mom. I say poker."

"I'm game." Sandy said.

"Ryan?" Kristen asked.

"Why not nothing else to do."

It was to this scene that the next visitor walked in on thirty minutes later.

"Man Ryan. I thought you didn't like the party scene. Why wasn't I invited?"

"Luke." Ryan said with a smile happy to see his friend.

"The one and only. Geez Ryan if you wanted some attention there had to be better ways to do this."

"Tell me about it- not exactly my choice of vacation locale."

"So how long do you have to be here?"

"Probably another two days though the doctor seems to be overly cautious so I guess we will have to wait and see."

"Too bad. Well might as well make the most of it. We'll miss you at the game though. The team sends their regards. I'll try to kick a goal for you or something."

"You do that."

"Deal me in I guess."

"Okay."

For the next hour everyone played an interesting game of poker using miscellaneous medical equipment as betting chips. By the last few hands it was clear that Ryan was getting tired. The boy was normally a genius at Poker considering he had the face down to an art with his brooding and silent give away no secrets nature. When he lost three hands in a row Kristen knew it was time to call it quits. That and the fact that his breathing seemed a little more forced.

"Alright gang I think it's time to wrap things up." She said.

"Ahh come on mom I'm finally winning." Seth whined.

"That in itself should tell you something, Seth." Sandy spoke up.

"Yeah man you never beat Chino."

Before Seth could defend himself a sudden coughing fit from Ryan interrupted the argument.

"Okay maybe your right. Why don't you get some rest Ryan?"

"Okay thanks for coming." Ryan managed to get out between coughs.

A nurse chose that moment to walk in.

"High Ryan, My name is Amy and I am your nurse for this shift. I noticed your oxygen stats are dropping a bit. I think it's time to rest some. I am going to switch your nasal cannula back to an oxygen mask for a while. I believe Respiratory is on their way with another breathing treatment also."

"Thanks for letting us know. We were just wrapping thins up anyway. My husband Sandy will be staying but the rest of us are going home till tomorrow."

"You can go home to Sandy. I'm sure you have work to do." Ryan said suddenly feeling guilty keeping the Cohen's from their regular life duties.

"Nonsense. My son is in the hospital I'm not going anywhere."

Ryan's smile at the son comment was something Sandy wouldn't soon forget. It was amazing how the simplest of things could be so treasured by this amazing young man.

"Alright-thanks." Ryan said shyly.

Sandy merely rubbed Ryan's head with a grin in response.

"Okay well get better bro see you tomorrow."

"Yeah I'll stop by after the game and let you know how we did."

"We love you get some rest." Kristen left a gentle kiss on his forehead as a parting farewell.

With the goodbyes given soon it was just Sandy, Ryan and the nurse. Within minutes the Respiratory tech was in the room administrating Ryan's next nebulizer treatment. By the time the treatment was done Ryan was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Stop fighting it kid- I've got your back." Sandy assured and with that statement ringing in his ears Ryan soon allowed nature to take its course and he drifted off to sleep confident in the fact that Sandy wouldn't let anything bad happen.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8- MEETING THE PEDIATRITICAN

Apart from nebulizer treatments every four hours and nurse checks Ryan had a relatively peaceful night. Sandy couldn't say quite the same thing considering every change of Ryan's breathe caused him to start. In the end though Ryan had done well and had made it once more to a new day.

As the sound of a meal cart interrupted the quiet of the morning Ryan's eyes fluttered opened. Seeing Sandy watching him he smiled shyly and whispered "Hi".

"Hi yourself. Looks like you awoke just in time for a gourmet meal."

"Yeah right- gourmet. Think I might prefer Kristen's food over theirs."

"Blasphemy Ryan." Sandy countered with a mock face of terror.

Ryan chuckled at the expression which caused him to also break into a short coughing fit. Sandy had moved to stand beside him when he started coughing and had gently rubbed his back during the process. When Ryan had finished he grabbed the juice cup from the breakfast try and handed it to Ryan.

"Thanks." Ryan said after a few sips.

"Alright well let's not put off the inevitable. Open up that mystery container let's see what they've prepared for you."

Deciding to play along with the act Ryan slowly moved his hand towards the covered tray and acted like he was going to open it. He drew out the process barely moving the lid up as if afraid something might jump out at him from under it.

"Come on son that's no way to handle the fear. You have to treat it like a Band-Aid. Just rip it off."

With a grin Ryan listened to Sandy and suddenly tore it off with a flourish. Apparently with a little too much zeal as the lid suddenly flew out of his hand and went flying towards the side of the room nearly taking out his IV pole. Both boys found themselves laughing and blushing at the whole episode.

The tow laughing men were unaware of the fact that the whole thing was being witnessed. The food delivery person had forgotten to slide the door closed after delivering the meal allowing a doctor to approach the room unnoticed.

"Well gentleman it seems some people are feeling a bit better if they can attempt to assasinateThe doctor who was observing spoke up with a voice laced with humor.

At his speaking two sets of eyes immediately connected with his. The youngest pair seemed full of guilt while the older pair seemed to be twinkling with joy and mischief.

"No worries son." The doctor spoke up in order to ease any fear the youngest might have. "I am quite aware of the facilities poor excuse for cuisine."

"Good to see you Doctor Peters. I'm surprised this is the first we've seen of you." Sandy spoke up indicating he recognized the new doctor.

"Yes well I have been in touch with the hospital, but while he was still in ICU I decided to put off coming in until it was a little closer to planning follow up care for discharge." The doctor responded.

"Ryan, this is Doctor Peters. He's been Seth's pediatrician since we moved here. He's one of the best." Sandy remarked bringing Ryan up to speed with his new quest.

"Well I don't normally toot my own horn, but I certainly won't turn down a positive endorsement now will I. It is my pleasure to meet you Ryan your parents boast of you often though I do wish we could have met on better terms an in more appealing surroundings."

"Yeah – me too." Ryan said softly. He liked the demeanor of this doctor. He was an older gentleman probably in his sixties. He had a hint of a British accent though it was hard to hear probably worn away by many years living in the States. His face was welcoming and his eyes spoke of kindness. He looked nothing like the doctors Ryan was used to in the free clinics of Chino. Those doctors always seemed so distant like they had been worn down by too much violence and too many hours.

"Do you mind if I listen to your lungs? I'm caught up with your charts, but I feel it's always best to do a personal exam."

Ryan demonstrated his approval by sitting up with Sandy's assistance as he still felt quite weak.

"Alright take a deep breath in. As deep as you can."

Ryan complied and was soon coughing from the effort. He was able to calm himself relatively quickly though. The doctor repeated the process a few times moving the stethoscope around sometimes asking for deep breaths and sometimes asking Ryan to breathe normally. When he was done he stepped back and swung his stethoscope back around his neck.

"Well I'm hearing bilateral wheezing- meaning both of your lungs are still constricted. However, the fact that I can actually hear you wheezing now is a marked improvement form the absence of breath sounds that were noted when you first came in. I am glad that your cough is the dry asthmatic cough we would expect and not a wet one indicating you haven't picked up any secondary infections. Your blood work indicated this also. Your pulse ox is a little between today climbing back into the mid-nineties. We will try you on room air instead of the nasal cannula today and see if you can maintain those numbers. If you can than we will talk about discharging you tomorrow. You'll be on restrictions when you go home though. Because of the severity of your attack plan on missing one more week of school. They should be able to arrange to bring you work at home so you don't get too far behind. What we will probably do is have you come into my office next Friday for a follow up before sending you back to school. In that visit I can write school releases and double check meds. Now I saw what the ICU doctor mentioned in terms of starting you on preventative medications, but I want to check with you first about what you may have taken in the past. So you know what meds you used to be on?

"Truthfully, no. I was pretty little and we didn't have insurance so we weren't often real consistent with meds. I know I had an inhaler for a while –a blue one. I think they had me taking pills sometimes too but I don't know what. If I was supposed to be on anything else I never was. Mom wasn't too keen on spending money for daily prescriptions. She was more of the mindset you only need meds when your ill not all the time."

"If I ever get my hands on that lady…" Sandy grumbled under his breath.

"It's okay Sandy. It's in the past and mom wasn't all bad." Ryan interjected feeling like he should make some effort to defend his mom though in truth he kind of agreed with Sandy. He was just a kid and even he knew to treat people better.

"It's not okay Ryan, but we'll talk about that later for now let's hear what the Doc wants to do for you." Sandy replied. He intended to have a heart to heart soon with his son to assure him he was deserving of love and care and that it wasn't right that he'd had to wait this long for it. Sandy could not erase Ryan's past but he could sure as hell make sure the boy got all the love and care in the world now.

"Thank you Ryan for clearing your past up a bit. It is actually about what I expected considering very few kids are aware of the names of their medications and you were quite young at the time. Dr. Jackson had mentioned he wanted you on a rescue inhaler and a preventative medication called Advair. I agree with these choices and I am going to start you on them today and show you how to use them. Before I do this can you tell me if allergies are something you have trouble with?"

"Sometimes. Usually in the spring when things start to bloom. I am prone to Sinus infections."

"Alright we'll keep an eye on that then and I may end up starting you on one other medication called Singulair. It works well to relieve allergy symptoms and is also helpful in preventing asthma flare ups."

"Okay." Ryan said.

Doctor Peter's took two things out of his pocket and set them on the tray table in front of Ryan. One was a small red inhaler and the other was a purple disked shape object. The doctor picked up the purple disk first.

"This is an Advair inhaler. You will use this twice a day. One puff in the morning and one at night. What you do is you twist it and hold the open hole to your mouth and breathe in as deep as you can. Then you hold your breath for a minute and breathe out. This allows all the medicine to get into your longs. This medicine consists of a steroid that helps to reduce inflammation over time and strengths your lungs against future attacks. Why don't you try it right now?"

Ryan took the inhaler and did as the doctor demonstrated. When he was done he set it down on the table. He had a bad aftertaste in his mouth and his expression must have given it away.

"I know it leaves a bad taste. It is actually important that you rinse after using it or brush your teeth as the residue isn't really good for them." Doctor Peters informed him as he handed him a glass of water and an empty cup.

Ryan took both cups and rinsed and spit a few times until the aftertaste was not noticeable.

"Now this inhaler is your rescue inhaler." Doctor Peters said indicating the second device. "This is what you use when you notice a persistent tightness in your chest or you begin wheezing or having that annoying dry cough. You shake it before using it than bring it to your mouth and push down as you breathe deeply in. You hold your breath for a minute and then breathe out. Wait a minute and then repeat. Since you haven't just had a nebulizer treatment I am going to let you do this now also so you can feel the effects."

Once again Ryan performed the tasks as they were described. The feeling of the inhaler was familiar to him. He could feel a little bit of relief from it in his breathing fairly quickly. Not as much as the nebulizer which gave him more medication, but enough to be noticeable.

"Now the rescue inhaler can be used 2 puffs every 2 hours as needed. In an severe attack you can use it again after ten minutes, however; if after the second use you still feel no relief or you feel worse you need to get to a doctor or call for help. Likewise if you end up using your inhaler more than four times in one day I would like you to make an appointment with me to get checked out. If you do this hopefully we can prevent any more serious attacks and get your breathing back under control."

"I understand." Ryan said.

"Me too thanks for explaining. I may have you show Kristen too." Sandy said.

"Yes that would be good. It is important others now how to use Ryan's meds in case he ever has trouble administering them himself."

"Alright Ryan there is one last item I want to show you. Have you ever seen one of these?" Doctor Peters asked as he pulled out a contraption that looked like a cardboard tube attached to a plastic device with numbers on it starting at 0 and going to 800.

"Umm I think so but I'm not really sure?"

"That's fine. Let me explain it. This is called a peak flow. It is a tool that helps us measure how much air your lungs are able to move. What you do is take a deep breathe in as deep as you can and then blow it out as hard and as fast as you can into this tube. When you do this it will move the meter up to one of these numbers indicating your peak flow result. Now since your about 5'8'' your average should be between 450 and 550. Considering you just had an attack it will probably be much lower. What I am going to have you do for the next few weeks is use this in the morning and at night and record your results so we can see what numbers you fall into. Over time this helps establish a pattern and can help warn you on days when your lung function is diminished indicating you may need to change your meds or visit me. Do you understand?"

"I think so. Can I try it?"

"Yep. Here you go."

Ryan took the peak flow and breathed in as deep has he could and blew out. He was disappointed to see the meter didn't even pass 200.

"Try again Ryan. I am not surprised its low you have to remember it was only two days ago you stopped breathing completely. It takes time to get your lungs back in shape."

Ryan tried again getting it a little higher though it still hovered right around 200.

"Alright again don't worry. I am going to leave this with you and you can practice with it. The more you practice the more you work out your lungs and it will help. Just don't overdo it. Remember your still healing."

"Okay." Ryan said eying the contraption the whole time. Sandy had a feeling the meter was going to be getting a work out today. Ryan didn't do anything half way.

"Well unless you boys have any questions I think I will let you get back to your meal."

"I can't think of any, what about you Ryan?"

"No". Ryan said with a shake of his head.

"Okay then get some rest and I'll see you in the morning to discuss discharge."

"Bye." Both boys said in unison.

Once the Doctor left Sandy looked back to Ryan and his peak flow.

"Let me see that thing I want to see how well I can do. After all you know I am in great shape. I bet I master it with a perfect 800." Sandy remarked his chest puffed out to add to the bragging.

"Sure old man see what you can do." Ryan affirmed handing over the dreaded piece of equipment.

Sandy took a deep breath in and blew out. He got a 500.

"Now that can't be right let me try again." This time he got 510.

"Great job superman." Ryan teased. "Let me show you how it's done." Ryan took the meter back and tried- still only achieving 200.

"I say it's broken." Sandy teased back.

"Yeah that must be it." Ryan confirmed with a smile. For the next few minutes the boys continued to play around with the new torture device/assistive tool.

"Alright that's enough." Ryan finally said with a smile and a few wheezed breathes from the exertion. "I think I am going to rest again."

"What about breakfast it's still here?" Sandy joked.

"Yeah and it is still unappealing. I think Kristen said she was bringing bagels later. I'll wait for shift change with you two."

"Fine be that way." Sandy pouted.

"I will." Ryan said as he laid back.

Sandy grinned at his son. "Get some rest kiddo. You did well. I love you." Sandy said as Ryan closed his eyes.

At the words 'I love you' Ryan's eyes jumped back open in surprise. Upon meeting Sandy's own eyes that shimmered with assurance Ryan relaxed.

"Thanks" he whispered as he fell into alight doze.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9- ONE STEP FORWARD AND TWO STEPS BACK

When Kristin finally arrived it was nearly lunch time. She smiled to walk in and see her boys playing an intense game of slap jack.

"Yes! I win." Sandy suddenly declared as he slapped the last of Ryan's hand away.

"No fair man. Didn't anyone ever tell you you're supposed to be nice to the invalids?" Ryan declared in mock anger.

"Sorry Kid my grandma taught me to play. She's the sweetest lady in the world until you play cards with her and then she's downright brutal."

"He's right", Kristen chipped in letting the boys in on her presence, "we played a game called spoons once and I almost lost an arm to her."

"Hey, that's right. We'll have to teach Ryan spoons later. There's a bunch of tongue depressors around we could use those instead." Sandy said with a grin that looked slightly evil.

"Um I think I am suddenly feeling a bit weak and will not be up for any more games." Ryan mumbled not sure he was willing to learn a new game from his devious foster father.

"We'll see." Sandy replied with a chuckle.

"So Kristen what is that wonderful smelling thing you have snuck in this room. Ryan and I are starving his breakfast looked like mystery meat from high school- literally it looked twenty years old."

"Hey I'm the only starving one here you snuck off to Starbucks when I fell asleep. Don't think I didn't notice the coffee cake crumbs." Ryan interjected glaring at Sandy all the while.

"Sandy, how could you? Well Ryan no fear I brought this for you not your poor mannered dad. It's from your favorite deli." Kristen spoke up.

"Thanks. Is it minestrone?"

"Of course. I know my boys' favorites. There's even some of their fresh bread."

"Great." Ryan said with pleasure. The next few minutes were filled with the happy sound of Ryan eating his soup and Kristen and Sandy chatting about the day.

After lunch Ryan decided to rest for a while and Sandy went home to shower and change- promising to be back later with Seth who had been sleeping still when Kristen left.

It was around two when the next set of visitors came in. Kristen had stepped out to make a few work calls. A knock on the door before it slid open signaled their arrival.

"Hey man- look who I found hanging around." Luke cheerily remarked. Behind him stood Summer and Marissa. Summer, being her typical self, pushed Luke out of the way to make her entrance.

"Chino what were you thinking?" She remarked marching up to him and giving him a light slap on his head. "Don't you know I don't like being scared? You have to get permission from me to get sick. Do this again and all go all rage black-out on you and you'll wish you were still in a coma and can't tell."

Ryan smiled shyly at the dark haired girl's odd way of showing sentiment. "Yes your highness."

"That's better. So what's the news?" She said flopping down into a chair by his bed.

"Nothing much. The Cohen's doctor stopped by to show me the meds he's going to start me on. Hopefully I can go home tomorrow but I'll probably still miss another week of school."

"Hey can I get in on that- the school part not the meds." Luke added humorously.

Ryan simply rolled his eyes in response. He looked over to Marissa who had sat on his other side and was lightly stroking his hand. He was surprised she was so quiet. She wasn't normally quiet sure she wasn't the same level of noise as Summer and Seth, but she was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

"You okay?" He asked gently looking at her.

"Yeah. Sorry you just had me worried." She said without adding any more. Ryan wasn't sure he believed her. In fact taking a closer look at her she seemed a bit pale and her voice had sounded a little raspier than normal.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"What," She said looking up suddenly almost as if she was afraid her secret would get out. "No. I'm fine." The sudden sneeze that followed the statement and caught her of guard seemed to prove otherwise."

"Oh gross, Marissa, you got that all over us." Summer stated clearly annoyed at her friend.

"Sorry, I didn't feel it coming."

"Whatever. Look if you're sick you shouldn't have come with us the last thing we need to do is get Ryan sick." Summer replied glaring at Marissa.

"Oh my gosh," the blonde girl muttered in distress, "I didn't think. I mean I'd never want that."

"Of course you didn't think." Luke muttered angry at the girl. For the life of him he wasn't sure why he and Ryan fell for her. She made a mess of just about everything.

"It's okay. I'm sure its fine. I know you were just worried and wanted to see me." Ryan spoke up trying to restore peace. Despite the bad wrap the boy had due to his past he was really the most caring teenager Luke had ever met.

"Whatever man, but I think she should leave now. We don't want to take any chances." Luke said.

"He's right. I followed them in my car anyway so I'll go. Get better soon Ryan. I'll stop by another time when I'm sure I'm healthy."

"Thanks Marissa. Feel better." Ryan said as she left.

Not five minutes later the Cohen gang dropped in.

"He was that Marissa I just saw leaving?" Seth asked.

"Yes." Luke said through clenched teeth.

"Wow man what's up with the hostility?" Seth questioned.

"Nothing. Let's just drop it guys. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill." Ryan spoke up quickly not wanting to cause his family any undo worry over possible germs. He shot a glare Luke's direction and prayed he picked up on the cue.

"Yeah. Nothing." Luke said with a sigh catching Ryan's glance. After all it was too late to change anything now.

"So Luke how did the game go?" Sandy asked as he sat on the couch.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot." Ryan replied.

"Good man. Good. Not as good as if Ryan our star striker had been there, but I held my own. We won 2 to 1."

"Yeah and Mr. Modest here scored both goals." Summer added.

"That's great man." Ryan replied.

"Yeah. Nice going" Seth added.

"Well it looks like we have a good group here. How about we teach Ryan spoons." Kristen remarked with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh no," Ryan said in mock fear hiding his head in his pillow, "I don't want to lose an arm."

"What are you talking about bro?" Seth asked in confusion.

Sandy was chuckling from the couch. "Your mom mentioned the first time she played with my grandma when we first started dating that Grandma almost took her arm off."

"Oh, yeah I can see that she was competitive." Seth replied with a knowing smile.

"Sounds like my kind of game. Perhaps an avenue to help me avoid rage-black outs." This comment from Summer caused everyone to pause and shiver slightly at their crazy friend.

"Well I'm game if you are." Luke said looking to Ryan.

"Why not there is nothing else to do in here and I shouldn't have another breathing treatment till 5. Just let me get up and move to the chair then we can play at the table."

"Are you allowed to move around?" Kristen asked with worry.

"Yeah when you went to take the calls during my last treatment I asked the nurse. She said since they have disconnected me from the heart monitor I can move around more freely I just need to take my friend the IV pole with me."

"Alright let me help." Sandy said as he guided his son through the process of untangling sheets and tubes in order to move to the nearby chair.

"Now that that is settled let me explain the game…"

The next two hours were spent together with much laughter and the occasional flying tongue depressor as the group tried to make four of a kind with their cards and be the first to grab a stick. Ryan held his own for a while but soon lost to the madness of the rest of his family and just enjoyed watching. In the end Summer came out victorious just barely over a disappointed Sandy. By then it was around 4 and Ryan was starting to feel tired if the drooping of his eye lids were any indication.

"Well that was certainly educational, but I think I should take this crazy chic and hit the road." Luke said pointing a finger at Summer.

"Yeah my dad wants me home for dinner and any way Chino looks about ready to drop." Summer replied not one to mince words.

"Sorry, I am a bit tired. I am glad you came, though, it's been fun."

"No problem man. You're in a hospital. You have a right to be tired take it easy."

As his friends left Sandy helped Ryan back into bed and Kristen spoke up.

"I think I'll take Seth home and let you sleep. I love you kid." She said as she gently kissed his forehead.

"Yeah- see ya bro. I'll be here tomorrow and hopefully we can take you home."

A tired thumbs up was Ryan's reply and by the time the two were at his door his eyes were already closed. His nap was fairly short lived when a gentle shaking of his shoulder woke him at 5 for his next breathing treatment. Ryan struggled to sit up feeling incredibly weary for some reason. His head ached a bit too and he wondered if he had pushed it a bit too much this afternoon. After adjusting his position with the help of the nurse he took the nebulizer tube from her and put it in his mouth and tried to take deep breaths. By the time he was finished twenty minutes later he felt even more tired and his chest was sore from the coughing the treatment had induced as it worked to open his lungs. His eyes fell closed almost immediately after the nurse took the tube back from him. Ryan didn't even wake when the food cart came in and Sandy just let him rest figuring he needed it and that the food wasn't all that great anyway. Kristen had left a few deli sandwiches in a cooler for later anyway.

It was nearly 7 the next time a nurse came in to check on Ryan. Again the boy seemed to struggle to become alert.

"Hi there Ryan. I am Anna your night nurse. I just need to get some vitals. Sorry for waking you but I need to take your temperature and blood pressure."

The boy flopped his left arm over sleepily and opened his mouth not wanting to say much in hopes of being able to fall right back to sleep in a minute. Sandy watched the numbers on the machine as the vitals registered. He noted the boy's blood pressure was 110 over 75. Pretty normal for him as he tended to run on the lower side an indicator of his active lifestyle. His temperature was what concerned Sandy some. It was 100.5. Ryan had been running between 97 and 98 since coming in- no fever. Sandy didn't like the possibilities that this might mean.

"Ryan, your temperature is up a bit which happens sometimes at night but can you tell me how your feeling."

"Tired." The boy mumbled.

"Yes I can see that I was hoping for a bit more detail. Does anything hurt? How's your breathing?" The nurse asked even as she clipped a pulse ox meter back on his finger it seemed the old one had fallen off earlier and they had let him be because his numbers had been good all afternoon. A blinking 93 appeared soon. Lower than the 96's they'd been seeing earlier. Nothing horrible but not ideal either.

"Head hurts. Chest little tight." Ryan added sleepily.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your head. 10 being the worse."

"Umm 3." He said after a moment's thought

"If Ryan says 3 you should probably think 6. He tends to minimize his pain levels." Sandy added.

"Is that true Ryan?" Anna questioned.

"Umm maybe."

"Well let me get you some Tylenol and we'll see if that helps. I'll also put the nasal cannula back on for now. I'm going to update your doctor on your vitals and see if he wants to do anything more. I'll be right back."

"K" Ryan muttered as he drifted back into a dose feeling the reassuring puff of oxygen in his nose. Despite the irritating itch it caused his face, the oxygen felt good and he felt a little more relaxed with it on.

Sandy watched the pulse ox reading for a minute since the nurse had left it on. The numbers climbed to 95 with the oxygen. The nurse was true to her word and was back within ten minutes with the medication.

"Okay Ryan here is the Tylenol. Your doctor also wants to draw some blood. I'll try to be quick."

Ryan sat up with Sandy's help and took the pills. He didn't even flinch when the nurse stuck him. Sandy wasn't sure if that was an indication of her skill or Ryan's pain tolerance, but either way it was over quickly. Soon Ryan was back asleep.

About an hour after the blood draw the nurse came back in with a bag to attach to Ryan's IV drip.

"You don't have to wake him." She told Sandy. "The doctor ordered a broad spectrum antibiotic as a precaution."

Sandy nodded and watched her hook up the medicine. The nurse stayed for a few minutes watching the drip.

"Let me know if you notice any problems. I'll be checking in frequently." She said as she left.

Sandy prayed the meds would help and wondered to himself how things could take a turn again so quickly. Just when everything seemed to be going good poor Ryan had to have another set back. It seemed to be the way of life for the kid- one step forward and two steps back. With all his heart Sandy wanted to stop that crazy dance and just help his son move forward. For now, though, all he could do was wait and pray.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10- BAD REACTIONS

It had been fifteen minutes since the administration of the antibiotic when Sandy first suspected there might be a problem. Ryan was growing restless and his coughing which had been almost gone earlier was back. Sandy moved closer to the boy and laid a hand on his forehead hoping to calm him. At the touch Ryan's eyes opened and connected with Sandy.

"Itches." He pleaded.

"What itches, Ryan?" Sandy asked growing concerned.

"Everything, please make it stop." The boy continued squirming even more as if trying to stop the itching.

Sensing something was seriously wrong sandy hit the call button.

"May I help you?" A nearly disinterested sounding voice spoke into the room through Ryan's speakers on his bed.

"Yes, I think my son is having a reaction to his medication."

"We'll be right there." The voice repeated this time with an urgent undertone.

True to the voice's word, Anna, Ryan's nurse was soon in the room.

"What is going on here?" She asked already approaching Ryan and reading off numbers from his chart.

"He started getting really restless and coughing and then he said he was itching everywhere." Sandy spoke up.

"Ryan is that true? Where do you itch? Are you having trouble breathing? How does your throat feel?"

"Everywhere. " Ryan muffled out through coughs. "Throat feels funny sort of tight."

Those words put the nurse in high alert and she hit a button behind Ryan's men that must have signaled the attention of other staff because soon Ryan was surrounded by medical personal. She also pulled back his gown and immediately noticed the presence of hives on his chest and arms.

"He's having an anaphylactic reaction." Anna spoke.

One of the people in the room took command. "I need epinephrine now." Quickly the right dosage was measured out and inserted into Ryan's IV. On top of that his nasal cannula was once more replaced with an oxygen mask on full flow. "I want blood work now. Also disconnect that antibiotic and add an antihistamine to start counteracting the reaction." The man taking command ordered. "Have an intubation tray standing by just in case."

At the words intubation, Ryan's eyes widened and he started moving around in distress. Sandy longed to be next to him to sooth him and calm his fears, but there were too many people already surrounding him. Thankfully Anna seemed to sense hi fear and moved to calm him.

"Shh Ryan. Calm down everything is going to be okay. We caught things quick the doctor is just being cautious I don't think we'll need that equipment. You just keep taking slow deep breaths and let the new medications due their job. You're going to be fine." She whispered into his ear gently stroking the frightened teens hand at the same time.

The next minutes felt like an eternity for Sandy, but it seemed the counter measures were working and gradually the number of people in the room began to decrease. Finally the man who had seemed to take charge spoke up.

"Well Ryan that was quite a scare you just gave us. I am Doctor Hanson the intern on call for the evening. I think we have everything under control for now and we can safely say that tetracycline is not an antibiotic to use on you in the future. I guess will add that to your long list of allergies. Is there any antibiotic you have safely had?"

"I know I had vancomyicin in the hospital once." Ryan managed to say between breaths of oxygen.

"Hmm that's a pretty strong drug but it's good to know.

"I think I had Biaxin last time I got tonsillitis."

"That's a better option. I'll note that. By now we should have your blood work back from earlier and we can see what kind of infection you were working on. If that class of antibiotics will work with it then we'll start you on that to avoid another reaction."

"Okay." Ryan said sleepily.

"Well it looks like the antihistamines are kicking in and making you tired. Rest is the best thing for you so don't fight it. Hopefully by morning all of this will just be like a bad dream."

"Yeah." Ryan muttered as he let his eyes drift closed.

Seeing his son fall asleep, Sandy stepped into the hall with the doctor.

"Is he really going to be alright?" Sandy inquired.

"Yes. He's still fighting of an infection but apart from a setback in recovery it doesn't appear to be life threatening. We caught the allergic reaction in time and now we know to avoid it. It may be smart to have some allergy testing done on him in the future to try and avoid this kind of thing, but otherwise Ryan is doing fine. His oxygen levels went down with the reaction, but now he's responding to treatment and they are climbing back up. His fever hasn't risen to a dangerous level so mostly he's just uncomfortable. He most likely picked up a minor respiratory infection due to his weakened state. It's not pneumonia though and we caught it early. He's in good hands Mr. Cohen."

"Thanks I needed to hear that."

"No problem if you have more questions let the nurse know."

"I will thanks again." With that said Sandy returned to keep watch over his son and prayed that the evening's excitement was done.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11- A NEW DAY

Thankfully the doctor's prediction of no more complications appeared to be true. Ryan had been put onto a different antibiotic one he seemed to not have a negative reaction to and he had managed to sleep through the rest of the night. His fever had climbed a little, but not so much as to be overly worried. His coughing had continued throughout the night also, but it wasn't accompanied by the frightening wheezing of earlier in the week. Sandy had called Kirsten to update her and had been hard pressed to convince her to wait till morning to come back to the hospital, but in the end he had been able to with a promise to call if anything changed. It was now 6am and Kirsten walked in.

"How is he?" She whispered softly.

"He's okay. Not feeling that great- a minor respiratory infection the doctor said, but his new meds seem to be helping some and not causing additional problems. It has probably set him back a few days in discharge which he will hate, but it won't kill him."

"Thank God! I don't think I can handle any more surprises. When he does wake up we need to let him know to get better soon and not try giving me any more heart attacks." Kirsten replied with emotion in her voice.

It was another hour before Ryan showed any signs of waking. Sandy had gone home to be with Seth and Kirsten was quietly reading her Bible once more by Ryan's bedside.

As his eyes fluttered open Kirsten marked her page and leaned over to stroke the hair out of his eyes and let him know she was there.

"Hey there sweetheart. Good morning."

"What time is it?" Ryan managed to croak out giving a few harsh coughs afterwards and rubbing at his sore throat. Seeing his distress Kirsten found a water cup and helped him take a few sips before answering.

"A little after 7am. I imagine breakfast should be here soon and probably a Doctor Peter's to check in on you."

"Not hungry." Ryan mumbled softly.

"Oh Ryan, I know, but you should try and eat something to help get your strength back so we can work on getting you home."

"Maybe." Ryan said without committing to anything.

"Where are you reading from this time?" He asked changing the subject away from food. His stomach felt a little queasy at the moment a possible side effect of the new antibiotic, but something nonetheless he didn't want to focus on.

"2 Corinthians Chapter 1. It's a passage my mom liked before she died. It talks about God understanding what suffering feels like and wanting to give us comfort and hoping we would share that comfort with others."

"Sounds nice." Ryan remarked.

"I thought so too." Kirsten agreed.

Before she could say anything more the door slid open.

"Well hello young man. I see you made it through the night despite insisting on keeping the night shift on their toes. Let's try not to have any more excitement today though." Remarked the gentle voice of Doctor Peters.

"Sorry." Ryan muttered.

"Nothing to apologize for" Dr. Peters interrupted in a more serious tone. "We have no control over what our bodies choose to be allergic to. All we can do is learn from things and move forward. Now let me get a listen to you today. I hear you have come down with an infection."

Soon Dr. Peters was listening to Ryan's lungs and checking his throat.

"Well I definitely hear some congestion though nothing to frightful at the moment. Your throat is quiet red and I am sure that is no fun. Your oxygen stats though aren't too bad all things considering. I'm afraid you earned yourself another couple days in our beautiful facility though."

"Great." Ryan muttered.

"Yes, well that's the way it is going to be so no stressing over what we can't change. For now get some more rest and I'll see you again tonight. I'd keep the visitors to a minimum – only family. We don't need you catching anything else."

"We'll do that. Thank you Dr. Peter's." Kirsten commented.

"No problem. Now get some rest young man so we can get you better and out of here."

"Okay." Ryan said softly a light smile tugging at his lips at the kind manner of his new physician.

Once Dr. Peters had left, Kirsten looked over to Ryan. "He's a nice man isn't he?"

"Yeah. I'm not used to Doctors like him. Most of the ones at the clinic were really impersonal. Not bad necessarily but you could tell you were nothing more than a chart to them or a paycheck."

"Unfortunately I have met my share of doctors like that even here in the O.C. that's why when we found Dr. Peters when Seth was little we clung to him. He's a kind spirit, but also one of the most talented and well respected pediatricians out there."

"I believe that." Ryan replied.

"Well. I think it's time for you to listen to his suggestion and get some more sleep. I'll wake you if breakfast ever arrives. "

"Don't bother. I'll just eat when I wake up."

"Oh Ryan."

"Please, Kirsten don't push it my stomachs not feeling that great at the moment and the last thing I want to do is end up puking because that will hurt my throat to no end."

"Alright. I will let it rest for now, but later you need to try something. If you don't have anything in your stomach it will just make things worse later when they give you more antibiotics."

"I know and I'll try, but for now I just want to sleep."

"Okay honey, go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up again."

"Thanks."

"Of course."

With that being said Ryan allowed himself to drift back off and Kirsten once more picked up her Bible to read a bit more about God providing comfort to those who were hurting.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the long time between updates. I have some medical problems and my treatment schedule along with keeping the family running and trying to work can sometimes lead to delays in writing. I try to update as much as possible on days when I'm feeling well and work and the family allow but I can't promise I'll always be able to. Thanks so much to everyone who reads and reviews. Hope you enjoy.**

CHAPTER 12- BUMPS IN THE ROAD

Unfortunately for Ryan his plan to avoid eating in hopes of settling his stomach seemed to be in vain. He had been asleep for less than an hour when the nausea he had been feeling earlier seemed to come back with a vengeance. Thankfully Kirsten was still sitting close beside him when he woke and years of parenting kicked her into fast gear at the first sign of distress. She had wasted no time in grabbing one of the ugly pink bins in the room that existed for just this purpose and soon she was stroking Ryan's back as he retched into the waiting receptacle.

"Oh Ryan, don't fight it sweetheart. Just let it out." She gently whispered to the distressed teen.

To Ryan it felt like he was puking for an eternity as his gastric acids burned his already sore throat and caused his sore chest muscles to pulse in pain. Truthfully the whole episode took just a few minutes. A nurse had come in not too long after Ryan began puking having noticed the change in his oxygen levels at the ordeal.

"Let me take that." The nurse, whose name read Carla, said gently once Ryan appeared to be finished. "I'll get it out of here and check your chart to see if there is anything for nausea."

Ryan gave her a weak smile of gratitude as she followed up her words with actions.

"You're just not having a good day are you kiddo." Kirsten remarked as she continued gently stroking Ryan's head.

Ryan chose not to give a comment in response. What more could he say? This day had started off awful and it wasn't getting better. Yesterday Ryan had been hoping for a discharge, but today he would just be grateful for a break from pain and some sleep.

The sound of the door signaled the return of his nurse.

"Alright Ryan, I have some Compazine for you to help with the nausea. You need to roll to your side a little for me to give you the injection it is best done intramuscularly and the rear is the best spot for that which causes the least pain."

Ryan willingly rolled over with some help from Kirsten. It bothered his stomach a little, but there was nothing else in it to expel so he could tolerate it. If the meds provided some relief from his current situation, than he would deal with the momentary displeasure of a needle.

The nurse was efficient and soon Ryan was lying back on his back.

"There hopefully that will help. Most likely your stomach is reacting to your antibiotic- they tend to cause stomach upset in some people, but at least you are not allergic to this one. Try and get some rest. Next time we give you the antibiotic we'll give you Compazine first to help prevent another episode."

Ryan gave weak thumbs up in response.

The medicine went to work fairly quickly and in fifteen minutes Ryan had drifted back to sleep.

Around noon Sandy and Seth returned for a visit. When they arrived they noticed Ryan was still sleeping.

"How's he doing?" Sandy inquired.

"He's been resting a few hours now. Had some trouble at first this morning- he got sick due to the antibiotic, but they gave him some meds to calm his stomach and he's been resting since. A respiratory therapist stopped by a few minutes ago. Since he was asleep and I had explained his tough night and morning she said she'd give him till one before she woke him for his next treatment. His lunch should be arriving soon though and he should really eat a little to help keep his stomach settled though I know he won't feel like it due to the sore throat he has as well." Kirsten explained.

"Geez he just can't catch a break can he?" Seth mumbled.

"Certainly doesn't seem that way." Sandy replied.

Kirsten's prediction about the lunch tray came true a few minutes later. The meal tech left a tray on Ryan's bedside and then wheeled out as quietly as possible.

"Well I guess it's time to wake the kid." Sandy unnecessarily remarked.

"Yeah." Kirsten muttered even as she gently shook Ryan's shoulder.

It took a while for him to open his eyes, but eventually the ice blue orbs came to focus on Kirsten.  
>"What's up?" He managed to croak out in a painful voice.<p>

"It's lunch time. Nothing too much. Some chicken broth or apple sauce."

"Not hungry." Ryan muttered starting to let his eyes drift closed again.

"Oh no you don't kid." Sandy remarked giving him a firmer nudge. "You need to eat something to give your body the energy it needs to fight off this stuff. You don't want to be stuck in here forever and if you fail to eat I promise you the alternatives the hospital will come up with are not fun."

"Fine." Ryan muttered the look on his face shouting his displeasure in a way his abused throat could not.

"Wow! Careful with the death glare man. I don't think this place can afford to house any more of our clan." Seth tried to add jokingly. If the look Ryan threw his way in response was any indication it didn't work so well.

Despite his displeasure Ryan did manage to eat about half the food he was offered before he fell back asleep. Seth noticing his brother wasn't going to need much company decided to take his DS player and head out to the park in front of the hospital for a while. Kirsten decided to take a brief walk to make some work calls and Sandy decided to turn Ryan's TV onto a sports channel and watch it on mute.

Things may have hit a rough patch, for Ryan and the Cohen's, but life went on and sometimes all you can do is roll with the punches. People rarely pray for perseverance in fear of being given opportunities to practice it, but trying times come none-the-less and the Cohen's' at least were grateful now that God had not put on them more than they could bare. Things might be tough, but they were getting through and they clung to the hope that relief was fast approaching.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13- Making Progress

At 1 the respiratory therapist returned and this time she woke Ryan up.

"Sorry kid, but I let you sleep last time, but now we need to get the meds on board so that we can get you one step closer to going home."

"Alright…" Ryan croaked out. His throat felt like it was on fire and he really wasn't looking forward to the breathing treatments because they would most likely make him cough more which would simply irritate his throat further.

The therapist was quick about her job and soon Ryan was breathing in the medicated vapors allowing them to slowly start to ease the strain on his breathing.

Sandy watched as Ryan breathed through the treatments and pulled out a deck of cards.

"want to play a game of Gin Rummy while you do the treatment? Might take your mind of things."

Ryan nodded his acceptance of the idea and soon the two boys were playing the game.

When the therapist came back to stop the meds, Ryan was in the process of losing for the second time.

"I thought you were supposed to take it easy on the invalids?" He croaked once the breathing mask was removed and replaced with a nasal cannula.

"No way- you usually destroy me at these kinds of games I plan to use any advantage I can get." Sandy retorted.

Ryan rolled his eyes but accepted the light teasing. It was nice to be teased like that- growing up he had never had that. The only teasing he got was from his big brother and even at that it often had a cruel undertone to it more like being picked on then the gentle teasing he was now receiving. Mostly humor just wasn't present in his home. Instead of laughter and jokes there was yelling and fists. For a moment Ryan felt a bit overwhelmed as he realized he felt more comfortable now in a hospital being teased by Sandy then he ever had in his home when he was healthy. His sudden reflective demeanor must have caught Sandy's attention because soon His foster dad was interjecting into his brooding in concern.

"You okay Ryan? You got lost on me for a minute there- and well you have been trying to decide what to play for five minutes somehow I don't think the cards are that interesting."

"Umm yeah…sorry just thinking."

"Anything I can help you out with?"

A gentle shake of Ryan's head was his answer. "No you sort of already are."

"Ok kiddo." Sandy said a look of confusion on his face. "If you change your mind and want to talk you know I'm here."

"Thanks…" Ryan begin but then trailed off into a fit of coughing.

Sandy gently helped him sit up and rubbed his back in gentle circles as he coughed.

When he was finished he leaned back into his pillows exhausted a slight wheeze puncturing some of his breaths and his brows furrowed in pain as he rubbed his throat. "I hate this…" He mumbled.

"I know son, I know. It will pass though. Why don't you try and get a little more sleep that is the best thing for you."

"K…was tired of losing anyway."

Sandy chuckled and tucked Ryan in a little tighter as the boy settled in to get some more sleep.

Unfortunately Ryan's rest wasn't very comfortable for long. After about thirty minutes of sleeping Sandy noticed the boy getting more and more restless. A light sweat had broken out on his brow and Sandy released his temperature must be on the rise again. Sighing in frustration for the boy he quietly hit the nurse call button.

The nurse came to the door fairly quickly.

"May I help you?"

"Yeah, I think my son's temperature is going up again is it time for his next set of meds yet?"

"Yes I was actually just getting them ready. Give me a second and I'll be back with the IV antibiotic and a shot for reducing his fever. Why don't you wake him up so I can get a temp on him too?"

"Alright." Sandy replied and then went on doing just what he was asked. He gently nudged the sleeping teen calling out his name quietly.

Ryan stirred and awoke to a coughing fit. Once again Sandy helped ease the teen into a sitting position and rubbed his back through the fit.

"Sorry kiddo but you were starting to look uncomfortable in your sleep and it is time for your next meds. The nurse is on his way back."

"K." Ryan mumbled.

Sure enough at that moment the nurse walked back in.

"Hello Ryan. My name is Sean and I'll be your nurse this afternoon till 11pm. I want to get a quick temp and blood pressure on you if that's okay?"

Ryan merely nodded and extended his arm in reply. Sean was efficient and soon had the needed data.

"Looks like your dad is right- your temp is definitely up. You're at 103. Not exactly the way we want you to go but let's see if the meds I have her for you can help get it down. I am just going to inject it into your port here and then I am also connecting your next round of antibiotics. I'll give you a shot of Compazine too so we can avoid complications."

"Thanks." Ryan replied as the nurse followed through on his comments.

"All set. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you." Sandy replied as Sean once more left the room.

"Would you like something to drink Ryan? There is an ice machine downstairs in the cafeteria if you want something cool on your throat. I need to make a restroom run so I could grab one for you in the meantime."

"Yeah that would be good." Ryan said softly.

"Alright kiddo I'll be back in a second. Seth should be here soon with Kirsten too since school got out about twenty minutes ago."

"K" Ryan replied allowing his eyes to drift back shut as Sandy went out to get the drinks and relieve himself.

By the time Seth and Kirsten arrived ten minutes later Ryan was back asleep- resting more comfortably now that the meds were kicking in. He still coughed occasionally, but he was less restless over all.

When Sandy noticed the boy sleeping when he arrived back with the drinks he merely stepped to the family room a few doors down and put the ice in their refrigerator for later when Ryan awoke again. Kirsten went with him and left Seth playing on his phone quietly in the chair by Ryan's bed.

"How is he doing Sandy?"

"Alright. His temp is up some, but they don't seem too concerned yet. Mostly he's just miserable- tired, achy. The coughing is hurting his throat and irritating his breathing but the meds seem to be managing things. I think He's getting better, it is just a slow process."

"I feel for him. It is never fun to be sick and it is so frustrating he had to get this infection on top of the asthma problems. I really wish I could strangle that girl for coming to visit sick." Kirsten replied.

"I know, but there is no use beating a dead horse. It is what it is and you know she didn't mean it. Ryan was at risk for an infection anyways and he had probably already been exposed at school."

"Your right I just wish he could catch a break."

"He will."

"Yeah I guess I need to put my faith into practice and remember God is still at work and still has a plan even though I don't particularly like the timing of it at the moment." Kirsten said with a grin.

"Yeah patience never was a virtue of our family." Sandy chuckled in response.

"let's get back to the boys and get Seth to put down his phone and start talking with us. I fear the cell phone bill this month. Thank God for unlimited texting."

Kirsten laughed as she followed her husband back to her sons. It wasn't an ideal situation, but they were together and things were getting better slowly but surely. Healing took time but God was at work.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for everyone who took the time to review. I am hoping to post regularly for a bit now as I have a break from my own treatments for a few weeks- so I will try and write as much as I can for the moment. Thanks again for all the suggestions and encouragement. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

Chapter 14- Backtracking

Meanwhile things in Ryan's room weren't quite as calm as when the adults had first stepped out. Seth had been playing words with friends on his phone, and losing badly to summer who he swore was inventing words, when Ryan started to get more restless. As Seth glanced over at him he noticed sheen of sweat that hadn't been there before. Ryan was also coughing occasionally and it sounded painful and deeper and wetter than the dry asthma coughs he had experienced before this latest complication. Seth was just about to ring for a nurse or go get his parents when Ryan started to mumble something as if caught in a nightmare.

"No… don't…please..." The child like please full of fear and pain broke Seth's heart. Ryan seemed so vulnerable and he never seemed vulnerable. Seth always pictured Ryan as unbeatable – nothing ever seemed to faze him. He looked up to the boy even though they were the same age. But now Seth hearing Ryan's cries Seth wondered just how much of what he saw in Ryan was a show. Was he really brave all the time or was it just a mask that he hid behind fearing that to let his pain show would just mean being taken advantage of again. Seth knew Ryan had had a difficult life before coming to them, but he wondered how bad it really was. Not being able to take hearing Ryan's painful please any longer Seth moved to wake him by shaking his shoulder. It was a bad move because the instant he touched Ryan, Ryan cried out in distress and flung his arm out connecting with Seth's nose in a hard way.

This of course was the moment Sandy and Kirsten walked back in.

"Seth." Kirsten cried out in distress seeing the unintentional punch to the nose. She ran up to her son immediately pulling his hands away from his face to check the damage.

Sandy meanwhile approached Ryan who was huddled in the corner of his bed – eyes opened but clearly not really present.

"Ryan… it's ok…come back to us kid. You're safe. Whatever you think you're seeing- it's not real. You're in the hospital. It's sandy, Kirsten, and Seth here no one else. Just breathe you're ok." Sandy calmly whispered from a small distance away as not to crowd Ryan but still remaining in his line of sight. Sandy recognized a flashback when he saw one. He'd seen them in several clients in the past and knew only staying calm and quiet would help at the moment.

"I'm okay mom." Seth said to Kirsten while at the same time watching Sandy.

"Perhaps, but why don't we step into the hall and get some ice anyway it looks like your dad has things under control and maybe Ryan could use a little space."

"Okay" Seth said hesitating briefly before following his mom out into the hall.

Sandy kept up his string of soft assurances and slowly Ryan's breathing evened out and his eyes stopped darting as of for escape. After about ten minutes he dropped his graze, hugged his knees and laid his head down on them. Sandy took this to mean Ryan was out of his flashback and slowly approached Ryan laying one hand gently on the back of his head.

"You back kid?" He asked gently.

All he received was a short nod that he felt through his hand. Clearly Ryan was ashamed of his lack of control.

"Don't be embarrassed kid. We all have nightmares and lose control occasionally. Hell at least yours wasn't in the middle of English class freshman year."

Sandy's comment got the reaction he was hoping for as Ryan lifted his head just enough from his knees to pear at Sandy with a questioning gaze.

"Yeah it was the year I was getting into all sorts of trouble. I had spent some time at a foster home that wasn't that great and then been transferred to my last home with the women who became my mom. I was exhausted and I fell asleep in class which was bad enough considering it was a Catholic school and the nuns were all evil especially to me the openly defiant Jewish kid."

Ryan chuckled slightly at that and Sandy grinned at the action before continuing.

"Anyway when I fell asleep I dreamed I was back with this family who had a tendency of locking us in the basement in the dark. Well I never did like the dark much and needless to say my imagination came up with plenty of horrible things. I woke up in class screaming 'turn on the lights'. The class jerks thought it was hilarious and I got teased the rest of the year for being afraid of the dark. My locker seemed to be endlessly filled with nightlights to torment me as well."

"That sucks…" Ryan whispered hoarsely his voice barely there from a combination of illness and yelling in his sleep.

"Yeah it did, but thankfully my foster mom, Seth's nana, was there for me. When things got real bad she marched her way up to the school and chewed out the administration for letting it happen. It was great seeing this short older Jewish lady come in and tell the priests and nuns what for. She always was a formidable woman."

"Wow- that must have been a sight."

"It was. I hope you get to meet her someday. You'd love her and she would love you."

Ryan looked down at that not sure he believed it. He still had trouble believing the Cohen's cared about him. He had never been loved so unconditionally before and he always felt like it was just a matter of time before the other shoe would drop.

"Look at me Ryan. Don't doubt it- she would love you. And we do love you. You are worth it too, kid."

Ryan looked up briefly "If you say so." He whispered.

"I do and someday you'll believe it."

Ryan shrugged and Sandy allowed it for now knowing he couldn't push it on the kids hell in truth he still had doubts himself sometimes and his past wasn't nearly as bad as Ryan's.

"Do you want to tell me about the dream?" Sandy asked.

"It was nothing…" Ryan tried deflecting.

"We both know that's not true kid. I'm not gonna make you tell me but I will ask this don't lie about it. Next time just say you don't want to talk and I'll accept that, but don't lie."

"Ok" Ryan whispered.

"How you feeling- looks like your fever isn't coming down- you're sweating pretty hard there."

"Awful- my heads killing me as is my throat and I'm freezing. It's a little hard to breathe again too." Ryan replied.

Sandy was surprised at the details since Ryan was usually reluctant to give them and so he figured the kid must really be feeling awful.

"Alright then let me get Sean back in here and see what we can do for you." Sandy said as he hit the call button.

A voice came over the intercom quickly asking what was needed and Sandy asked for the nurse and was told he would be in shortly.

A knock at the door a minute later signaled his arrival.

"Heard you guys needed me." Sean said as he walked towards Ryan.

"Yeah- Ryan's starting to feel worse."

"I can see that." Sean replied. "Let me get a temp on you again and then you can tell me what else is up."

A moment later the thermometer beeped.

"Toasty kid you're up to 104- I'm gonna page the on call doc and see what we need to do. What other symptoms you got apart from your breathing I can hear the wheezing has progressed again and your respiratory rate is increasing. Plus I see from the monitor your pulse ox is on a downward trend again though your still at 90. I think I am gonna switch you back over to a mask though ok?"

Ryan nodded and then went to answer the question about symptoms. "My head and throat really hurt and I am cold plus my chest feels really tight again. My stomach is a little queasy too but that may still be from the antibiotic."

"Hmm will see. Let me go check with the doc. He'll probably come in himself to take a look at you and most like will order some blood cultures to rule out additional infections. Hang tight kid we will get it figured out."

Ryan nodded and resumed trying to huddle into a ball to keep warm- coughing occasionally and simply trying to breath.

As they waited for the doctor both Ryan and Sandy kept their eyes fixed on the vital sign monitor. Ryan merely trying to slow his breathing rate down and take deep enough breaths to keep his o2 stats in the 90's and Sandy out of fear for his son.

Around ten minutes later Doctor Hansen who Ryan had met after his allergic reaction walked into the room.

"You again huh kid. I thought we were through with complications." The intern said with a teasing edge to his voice to accompany the serious feel he brought from his stance.

"Don't you ever sleep?" Sandy asked recalling last time they saw him had been on a night shift.

"Yeah right… I'm an intern sleep is for residents and attendings." He remarked with a smile.

"Let me take a listen to you kid- try and uncurl from your huddle a bit. I apologize in advance for the cold stethoscope."

Ryan did as he asked and attempted a few breaths from the doctor though mostly he ended up coughing. The doctor frowned at the sounds he was hearing.

"Alright kid here's the deal I am not too pleased with what I'm hearing- that infection you got has definitely moved into your lungs as I am hearing rales on both sides and indication of fluid building up in them which could be indicative of pneumonia. I am gonna want to get some blood and a chest x-ray to confirm. Meanwhile I am gonna keep you on the oxygen mask and move it to high flow to help with the breathing. I am also gonna have respiratory come back and give you another treatment. I also plan to hang a steroid drip on your I.V. to help decrease the inflammation. Once we get blood work back we will determine if we need to switch antibiotics again. Any questions?"

Ryan pulled his mask aside to ask a question "Can I have a blanket?"

"Sorry kid your too toasty as it is in fact I am gonna have Sean here give you another dose of fever reducer and if you don't come down a bit in the next hour we might have to put you under a cooling blanket."

Ryan glared at him for that idea.

"Wow kid … no wonder your chilly that was an ice cold look if I ever saw one. But seriously we need to do what's best for your body and trust me it is better to be cold then to have a seizure."

"I guess" Ryan muttered from under his mask.

"Alright folks you've heard the plan – I'm off to sign the orders. Expect radiology and the lab here shortly."

"Thanks." Sandy said as the intern briskly walked out the door to follow through with his plan.

Ryan and Sandy glanced back at each other both praying nothing to complicated would come from the next tests, but neither one confident in their hopes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15- Cooling Off**

True to the inters word x-ray and labs came by in short order. Thankfully they were all the portable variety and Ryan was not required to leave the room for any of them. By the time they left he still felt exhausted though as if he had run a full marathon.

"Hanging in there kid?" Sandy questioned gently.

"I guess." Ryan huffed out.

A few minutes passed and then Sean came back in.

"Well Ryan I'm back to get another temp on you-let's see if we can avoid the cooling blanket."

The three men waited anxiously for the beep of the thermometer to give its verdict and when it did the frown on Sean's face indicated the sentence before his lips could."

"Sorry kid still 104- meds should have brought it down a bit and since they haven't we are gonna give your body some help. I'll be back in a sec with the chilly blanket." Sean remarked trying to add a bit of humor to the announcement.

Sean was true to his word and with in minutes the shivering of Ryan's body was no longer indicative of merely a high temperature.

"Try and get some rest kid that's really the best thing for you right now." Sean remarked as he left. "Remember to ring if you need anything else."

Sandy nodded in gratitude to the kind male nurse and then returned to slowly stroking Ryan's hand as the boy shivered beneath the cooling blanket.

"I ever tell you about the time Nan caught me trying to get out of school by faking an illness. Sandy began in hopesof distracting his foster son.

Ryan shook his head ever so slightly in reply his glassy eyes moving to track Sandy's words.

"Well it was once more in my freshman year not to long after the other incident I mentioned. I was sick of the bullying and though by now my nana had put a stop to some of it – it was by no means over. I also had failed to study for a math test. I hated math. Something Seth and I still bond over unlike you and Kirsten. Anyway I decided to try and take a sick day in hopes of a short break and an extra study day. So I set my alarm about twenty minutes before I knew Nana would be up. Then I went to the bathroom and made sounds like I was getting sick. Locking the door of course so there was no chance of anyone checking up on me. I knew Nana was a light sleeper and expected she'd hear me. I also ran so hot water over my cheeks to make myself looked flushed. Sure enough Nana heard me and knocked on the door to check on me. I let her in and perceeded to tell her I was not feeling well. I probably would have gotten away with it too except I decided my performance needed more drama so I tried to moan as a sign of illness. Apparently my acting face needs a lot of work. Needless to say I was soon on my way to school with red cheeks of a different variety also not caused by fever."

"Sucks…" Ryan whispered his teeth not chattering quite as much as before and his eyelids starting to droop in exhaustion.

"Well that's story time for the day- stop fighting sleep kid."

"K…" Ryan whispered letting his eyelids drift closed and stay that way.

Around five minutes later Sean walked in and whispered quietly to Sandy. "Glad to see he fell asleep- I'm gonna use the aural thermometer to check him and see if we can get rid of the blanket."

Sandy nodded and watched as Sean did what he had said.

"Looks a bit better its down to 103.5 we can get rid of the blanket for now. I'll be back in an hour to check again. Your wife and son are out in the hall."

"Thanks I'll check in on them." Sandy stepped out quietly with Sean his eyes falling once more on Ryan before leaving the room just to make sure everything looked relatively peaceful.

"Hey Seth- you okay?" Sandy asked seeing his son for the first time since the accidental run in with Ryan's fist.

"Yeah- nothings broken. Mom thinks I might get a shiner though but I figure that could help my street cred."

"What street cred?" Sandy asked with a laugh.

"Thanks Pops way to boost my ego."

"Please son- ego boosting is not in my job description."

"Whatever… I'm gonna go back in and sit with Ryan."

"Ok son, he's sleeping though so keep it down."

"Course."

Sandy and Kirsten waited till Seth had closed the door to Ryan's room before continuing their conversation.

"How is he Sandy?"

"Sick but hanging tough. They had him on a cooling blanket for a bit but it seemed to help. Still waiting for word on his labs and x-rays."

"he just can't catch a break can he."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"well why don't you run home and shower and Seth and I will take the next watch for a while."

"Ok- call if anything changes."

"I will."

With those parting words Sandy gave his wife a kiss and headed out of the hospital and Kirsten turned to join her sons in the hospital room.


End file.
